Christian living

Another February 14 is here, and you know what it’s known for – Valentine! Valentine’s Day often comes wrapped in grand displays of affection. But beyond the noise of traditions and trends, there’s one person who deserves your love most – YOU, yes you! Just yesterday, I was discussing with husby, I mentioned to him that for many years, I didn’t know it’s okay to take oneself out on a date. It never occurred to me until one of my mentors mentioned that she constantly have lunch dates with herself, and yes, she’s married. She buys herself ice cream, just breathe and rest. This makes so much sense to me, and guess what, I’ve tried that a couple of times, even in marriage. Believe me, it’s a great thing to try. Valentine’s Day isn’t only for couples or romance. It’s a reminder that love, in its purest form, starts from within. I love to talk a lot about self-love since I understood the fact that, we cannot give what we do not have. If you don’t love yourself, how can you love your neigbour as our Father, as recorded in the Scripture, wants us to? The verse actually encourages us to love others, as we do ourselves. In other words, the amount of love you can give, is proportional to the amount you have in you. So, while the world celebrates their lovers – the real, fake or arranged – remember that the relationship you’ll carry for a lifetime is the one you have with yourself. What if, today, you became your own Valentine? Not out of loneliness, but out of deep, intentional love for who you are. I’m not a relationship expert or counsellor, but I’ve seen and learned that relationship or marriage doesn’t cure loneliness. A lonely person as a single will remain lonely even when in a company of others. So, we learn to be happy while alone, and that happiness will only multiply when shared. I am not underestimating the beauty or essence of relationship, companionship or marriage, I am simply emphasising that true happiness and fulfillment start from within, and that a healthy, whole individual is the best foundation for any successful partnership. Today is another day to encourage you to: Celebrate your wins, big or small. No matter how bad it looks, I’m sure you’ve had some victories. It’s a good time to pause and acknowledge how far you’ve come. Make time for joy. This requires intentionality, against the noise out there. It could be your favourite meal, a peaceful walk, or a playlist that lifts your spirit, just choose something that makes your heart smile, that thing that makes you come alive. Speak kindly to yourself. When there is external voices against you, should you join the critic hub? I encourage you to silence the inner critic. You may want to look into the mirror and see the beautiful work God has made. Speak out loud sweet words to who you see in the mirror. Rest, without guilt. This seems to be the sweetest thing I’m learning to do lately. Rest isn’t a reward; it’s a necessity. You don’t need permission to slow down and breathe. You don’t need to break down or crash before you sabbath. There are times we retreat from energy draining people and rest without apologies. Invest in your growth. How about you mark this year’s Valentine by starting a book or try something new? You are worth every moment you spend becoming your best self. Remember the saying, the best time to start was yesterday, a better time is today, and NOW. Express gratitude for who you are. Take time to reflect and write down things you appreciate about yourself, I’ll recommend a minimum of three. Self-love grows and thrives in the soil of self-acceptance. This Valentine’s Day, whether you’re spending it with someone or on your own, remember: You are worthy of the same tenderness you offer others. Let love start where it always should, from within. Do not forget this: the most beautiful relationship you’ll ever have is the one you nurture with yourself. Loving yourself should be a lifestyle. And it’s one you deserve—today and every day. Rooting for you, always!