mental health

The Space Between What Happens and How You Respond: A Lesson from Viktor Frankl

About two years ago, during a course I was taking, it was my first time hearing about concentration camps. Concentration camps were places where large groups of people were forcibly held and confined, usually because of their ethnicity, religion, political views, or other targeted identities. During World War II, they were most infamously used by Nazi Germany as part of the events of the Holocaust. People were kept in overcrowded, harsh conditions with very little food, poor sanitation, and limited freedom. Many were subjected to forced labor, and millions lost their lives as a result of the conditions and systematic violence. So we were talking about ethics and some of the extreme things humans have gone through in history, and I remember a few of the stories touched me deeply. It honestly made me pause and wonder how situations like that were ever allowed to happen in the first place. It made me wonder how anyone could ever justify or normalize inflicting such an unquantifiable level of pain on another person. But that’s not the subject of discussion for today. When people talk about World War II, the focus is often on the war itself, the fighting, and the massive loss that came with it. But tucked inside that history is something many people don’t really talk about. Despite the harsh conditions people were subjected to, some persons didn’t give up on life. I know a lot of what happened there wasn’t just physical suffering, but also the loss of identity, freedom, and basic dignity. But in the middle of that reality was a man named Viktor Frankl. Let’s talk about Viktor Frankl. Before the war, Frankl was a neurologist and psychiatrist in Vienna. He spent his early years studying the human mind, particularly what gives life a sense of purpose. Then the war interrupted everything. He was taken into a concentration camp along with his family. Over time, he lost his parents, his brother, and his pregnant wife. The life he had built disappeared piece by piece. He moved through multiple camps and lived under conditions defined by hunger, uncertainty, and constant exposure to suffering. Yet even there, he paid attention, not just to what people were going through, but to how they responded to their experiences. Viktor noticed that, while many people were overwhelmed by the conditions, some still made small, intentional choices about life. Someone would share food even when they barely had enough. Someone would offer a word of comfort to others, even when they were in pain. These actions didn’t change their situation, but they revealed something about the people making them. That observation led him to conclude that even when circumstances are extremely bad, there is still a point at which a person decides how to respond. You have a choice. Yes, you do. Viktor described it as a space between what happens and what you do next. After the war, Viktor returned to Vienna and began rebuilding his life. He continued his work in psychology and developed an approach called logotherapy. Logotherapy is a form of therapy based on the idea that finding meaning in life is the central human drive and a key source of resilience, even in suffering. He also wrote Man’s Search for Meaning, where he documented both his experiences in the camps and the psychological insights that came from them. The book has remained widely read because it speaks to something fundamental about being human. When you reflect on his story, it naturally brings your attention back to your own life. Most people are not facing the kind of extreme conditions Viktor endured, but that doesn’t mean life feels easy. Challenges still show up, plans don’t always work out, relationships can be complicated, and there are moments that feel your world is crushing right before your eyes. In those situations, it’s common to react quickly. Something happens, and the response follows almost immediately. It can feel automatic. But Viktor’s perspective suggests something slightly different. There is a brief moment, sometimes barely noticeable, where a decision is made. It might look like choosing how long to stay in a negative spiral after something goes wrong. I used to be very guilty of this. It might be deciding whether to speak to yourself or others with harshness or with patience. It might be recognizing when a reaction is coming from habit rather than intention. These are not dramatic decisions, but they are consistent ones. Over time, they influence how you experience life. I am not saying you should ignore how you truly or pretend everything is fine. Viktor’s work does not dismiss pain; it acknowledges it directly. His point was that even within difficult experiences, you still have a level of control. You can feel frustrated and still decide what to do next. You can feel disappointed and still choose how you move forward. You can feel uncertain and still take your next step. Viktor’s life shows that what’s happening around you doesn’t fully decide what happens within you. He could have given up on life like most people did. We wouldn’t blame him if he had. But do you know that instead of trying to control everything outside, your attention can shift to how you respond on the inside? That kind of awareness gives you control and helps you respond better. And over time, it can shape the way you live your life. Take this as a reminder not to let what’s happening around you control how you respond to life. I hope this blesses you. Rooting for you, always.

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Valentine’s Day and Self Love: Why You Should Be Your Own First Valentine

Another February 14 is here, and you know what it’s known for – Valentine! Valentine’s Day often comes wrapped in grand displays of affection. But beyond the noise of traditions and trends, there’s one person who deserves your love most – YOU, yes you! Just yesterday, I was discussing with husby, I mentioned to him that for many years, I didn’t know it’s okay to take oneself out on a date. It never occurred to me until one of my mentors mentioned that she constantly have lunch dates with herself, and yes, she’s married. She buys herself ice cream, just breathe and rest. This makes so much sense to me, and guess what, I’ve tried that a couple of times, even in marriage. Believe me, it’s a great thing to try. Valentine’s Day isn’t only for couples or romance. It’s a reminder that love, in its purest form, starts from within. I love to talk a lot about self-love since I understood the fact that, we cannot give what we do not have. If you don’t love yourself, how can you love your neigbour as our Father, as recorded in the Scripture, wants us to? The verse actually encourages us to love others, as we do ourselves. In other words, the amount of love you can give, is proportional to the amount you have in you. So, while the world celebrates their lovers – the real, fake or arranged – remember that the relationship you’ll carry for a lifetime is the one you have with yourself. What if, today, you became your own Valentine? Not out of loneliness, but out of deep, intentional love for who you are. I’m not a relationship expert or counsellor, but I’ve seen and learned that relationship or marriage doesn’t cure loneliness. A lonely person as a single will remain lonely even when in a company of others. So, we learn to be happy while alone, and that happiness will only multiply when shared. I am not underestimating the beauty or essence of relationship, companionship or marriage, I am simply emphasising that true happiness and fulfillment start from within, and that a healthy, whole individual is the best foundation for any successful partnership. Today is another day to encourage you to: Celebrate your wins, big or small. No matter how bad it looks, I’m sure you’ve had some victories. It’s a good time to pause and acknowledge how far you’ve come. Make time for joy. This requires intentionality, against the noise out there. It could be your favourite meal, a peaceful walk, or a playlist that lifts your spirit, just choose something that makes your heart smile, that thing that makes you come alive. Speak kindly to yourself. When there is external voices against you, should you join the critic hub? I encourage you to silence the inner critic. You may want to look into the mirror and see the beautiful work God has made. Speak out loud sweet words to who you see in the mirror. Rest, without guilt. This seems to be the sweetest thing I’m learning to do lately. Rest isn’t a reward; it’s a necessity. You don’t need permission to slow down and breathe. You don’t need to break down or crash before you sabbath. There are times we retreat from energy draining people and rest without apologies. Invest in your growth. How about you mark this year’s Valentine by starting a book or try something new? You are worth every moment you spend becoming your best self. Remember the saying, the best time to start was yesterday, a better time is today, and NOW. Express gratitude for who you are. Take time to reflect and write down things you appreciate about yourself, I’ll recommend a minimum of three. Self-love grows and thrives in the soil of self-acceptance. This Valentine’s Day, whether you’re spending it with someone or on your own, remember: You are worthy of the same tenderness you offer others. Let love start where it always should, from within. Do not forget this: the most beautiful relationship you’ll ever have is the one you nurture with yourself. Loving yourself should be a lifestyle. And it’s one you deserve—today and every day. Rooting for you, always!

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A Life-Changing Journey Through “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale: A Chapter-by-Chapter Review

We have all been blessed with a gift, called LIFE! Even though it is a gift, it is sometimes full of challenges. But how we face these challenges determines the story we tell. Norman Vincent Peale’s timeless classic, The Power of Positive Thinking, is an inspiring reminder that our thoughts shape our realities. I’m not just about wishful thinking but about cultivating an inner strength that transforms our lives, no matter the circumstances. The central message of this book is simple yet profound: believe in yourself, trust in God’s power, and you can achieve remarkable things. Let’s dive into the chapter-by-chapter summary. Chapter 1: Believe in Yourself It is no news a sense of inferiority and inadequacy can block the path to achieving our dreams. But you need to know this: self-confidence paves the way to self-realisation and success. I know, believing in yourself isn’t always easy. Yet, faith in your abilities is a non-negotiable foundation for success and happiness. Without it, we risk stumbling over doubts that were never meant to define us. Here are some actionable steps to build self-confidence: Create a mental picture of success: Visualize yourself as a winner. Not once, not twice, but repeatedly, if possible daily, until this image becomes part of who you are. Counter negativity with positivity: When those “I’m not good enough” thoughts creep in, replace them with uplifting affirmations. For example, “I am capable,” or better still, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Stop magnifying obstacles: We’re often our own worst enemies, blowing challenges out of proportion in our imagination. Instead, focus on solutions and opportunities. Be authentically you: While it isn’t bad to have mentors or role models, trying to mimic others only robs you of your unique brilliance. Remember, there’s only one you, and that’s your superpower. Anchor your faith in God: Say this affirmation with confidence, “If God be for me, who can be against me?” It is a game-changer. Say it. Believe it. Live it. Chapter 2: A Peaceful Mind Generates Power Let’s face it, life can be noisy, externally and internally. But know that a peaceful mind is the secret to unlocking inner strength. Think about it: when your mind is calm, you’re more creative, focused, and resilient. You can achieve more. But how do we achieve such peace in a world filled with distractions? Try these practical techniques: Practice emptying your mind: Every day, set aside a moment to let go of mental clutter. Whether it’s unresolved worries or lingering frustrations, visualize yourself releasing them. Breathe deeply and let peace wash over you. Fill your mind with healthy thoughts: Emptying your mind is just half the battle. Immediately replace the void with thoughts that inspire, uplift, and energize you. For me, this could be reflecting on God’s promises or recalling moments of gratitude. Speak peaceful words audibly: Words carry power. Peale suggests using soothing phrases like “peace,” “calm,” or “contentment.” Scripture or poetry works beautifully too—lines that resonate deeply with your soul. Begin each day with positive affirmations: Set the tone for your day by affirming peace, joy, and success over yourself. It’s amazing how this simple habit can influence your mood and outcomes. Chapter 3: How to Have Constant Energy It’s easy to feel drained when we are constantly doing so much. But here’s the thing, TRUE energy doesn’t come from a cup of coffee or a power nap. The source of all energy is God. The universe is filled with energy—whether it’s atomic energy, electric energy, or spiritual energy—and God is the source of it all. When we connect with God, we tap into that divine energy, the same energy that creates and recreates the world. Just as spring renews itself every year, God’s energy refreshes us, too. By staying in touch with Him, we can feel that constant flow of energy in our lives. It’s not about trying to push through each day; it’s about letting God’s energy flow through you, fueling your actions and thoughts. Chapter 4: Try Prayer Power Prayer has the potential to change our lives. The author, quoting a famous psychologist, tells us that prayer is the greatest power available for solving personal problems. It’s not just a way to ask for help; it’s a force that can refresh us every time and renew us every day. Prayer brings us back to our Creator, and enables us to face the world with a calm and positive outlook. One of the most effective approaches to prayer is what Peale calls the “Prayerize, Picturize, Actualize” method. This means that you start by praying for the situations or challenges in your life. Picture them in your mind as already resolved, and then take action to make them a reality. This powerful formula helps us align our spiritual energy with our physical world. To get the most out of prayer, follow these simple rules: Set aside a few minutes each day to pray. Use simple, natural words when you pray. God is our Father, we can be real and open in His presence. Pray as you go about your day; make it part of your routine. Spend more time giving thanks than asking for things. Gratitude opens the door for even greater blessings. Chapter 5: How to Create Your Own Happiness Happiness isn’t something that happens to you; it’s something you choose. You have the power to decide whether to be happy or unhappy. And the way you think has a massive impact on your happiness. Our mindsets are habits we cultivate, and as we change spiritually, we begin to see the physical world around us shift. Happiness becomes more attainable, and success feels easier when we align our thoughts with positivity and gratitude. Here’s how you can create your own happiness: Keep your heart free from hate and worry. These emotions only weigh you down. Live simply and expect little, but give much. The less you hold onto, the more you can share. Scatter love and

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